Passive
by CutsAndKisses
Summary: A divorced woman joins the army to run away form everything and she befriends Gabriel. The night he rides with the dispatches she joins him but is discovered by Ben. She joins his secret militia after Ben makes her turn herself in & falls for...
1. A mistake?

Disclaimer: own nothing but Rowan 

Chapter1

I took a deep breathe as the young private who sat behind the table handed me the quill. I took it from him and gripped it between my fingers. I stared down at it for a second.

What was I doing? This went against everything my parents had taught me, everything I learned from church, everything I had learned from my late husband, it went against everything I was. One of those things was a woman, another a rich mans daughter and a even richer mans ex-wife. This couldn't be the only way out? Could it? I sighed. It was, I knew that.

I leaned down over the desk and scribbled down my name-made up name- my age, my height, weight, birth parents names, and the type of soldier I wanted to be. To start off my name was Rowan Elizabeth Blackwell. Pretty average name huh? Well guess again, in the whole entire world would you ever find a woman with the name of a man? Well I had one. But I was really the only person in all of America to have the name Rowan so I gave myself the name Noah Blackwell. My parents are Mary Ann Blackwell and Thomas Richard Blackwell the famous owners of the Blackwell mansion and plantation in Raleigh, North Carolina.

I smiled and looked back at the private. He smiled back and gazed at me with his deep brown eyes. He nodded and I nodded and set the quill pen back down.

"Thanks sir, you make your country very proud." I cringed when he called me sir. I'll never get used to that.

"Thanks sir, I hope to make it very proud" I said with a smile. I turned and pulled my tri-cornered hat back on. The sun was bright toady in Charlestown. I picked Charlestown cause no one there would know me. Plus it was a very long ways from Raleigh. Charlestown was a nice busy port city. The streets were filled with carriages, horses, wagons, and people. Then there was the courthouse. There was a meeting in session but I had left earlier after a man named Benjamin Martin had spoke. That man was pathetic hiding behind his children like that, I understood why his eldest, Gabriel, stormed out of there.

I strolled over to a nice tree that stood pretty tall. It was big and the shade was cool and refreshing. I pulled the sleeves of my trench coat over my hands hiding them. Unfortunately for me I was born with so many great womanly features, small thin bony hands, all the right curves, my breast were correct but not that big and could easily be covered up with a baggy shirt, then there was my hair. I hated it, so full and thick and bleh! I hated it. So I had cut it so it brushed my ear tips and I cut some of the thickness away. It was a lovely shade of chestnut brown and it went well with my emerald green eyes.

I smiled to myself as I saw the sandy haired Gabriel Martin yell at his father then sign his name in the same book as I had signed only moments ago. This was great, it would be wonderful to have a familiar face with me.

* * *

-a week later, in a military camp in a disclosed location-

"Damnit," I mumbled as I scratched the burnt brown crap that we troops called food. What woman I was! Here in the middle of nowhere in a camp with nothing but sweaty, disgusting, perverted men fighting for a cause we all lost sight of long way into our first blood shed battle.

I was a woman! I should know how to cook! But no! I chose to join my father on his little 'hunts" instead hang around the kitchen with my mother. I sighed. This was useless. I tossed the pan down and my stick as my fire barley made crackling sounds. I threw a stick in it and fell backwards onto my back covering my face with my hands.

"Why me?" I whined. I heard a laugh and I peeked out from behind my hands. My good friend and fellow soldier Peter Cuppin stood there staring down at me, his face red from laughter. I glared at him as I stood up.

"Oh! You think its funny now do you?" I grumbled. "Lets see you make better scrambled eggs then me!" I said throwing him a chicken egg I had stolen form a farm we had passed earlier.

"Sure! I'll show you how to REALLY cook" Peter said plopping down next to me. He pulled his pan out and cracked the egg and poured it into the pan. I watched sitting crossed legged on the ground as he held the pan barely over the fire. He stirred it around with the stick and I watched it get lumpy.

Finally, Peter pulled the pan away from the fire and held the pan over to me. I stared down at the thin layer of hard egg in the pan. I blew on it then poked it with my finger. I quickly broke a part off and stuffed it in my mouth. I chewed then swallowed. It could use a little salt but I had to admit it was good! This man might have been my age, but he was a great cook!

I cocked my head to the red head. He was staring at me expecting some positive feedback. I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, ok! I admit! It was good, a little flavorless but good!" I said. Peter grinned from ear to ear.

"See I told you I could cook," He said in a sing song voice. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Now now children, play nice." Gabriel mockingly glared at us like a parent. I glared back.

"You should talk Gabriel" I retorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said giving a fake worried expression.

"oh you know what I mean! The way you and Peter always fight over the paper!" I said putting my hands on my hips.

"I don't know what your talking about." Gabriel said sitting next to Peter. Peter just sat there watching mine and Gabriel's whole exchange with amusement.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh you know I'm right," I mumbled. Gabriel gave a little snort. I reached over Peter and hit him on the arm.

"Eggs anyone?" Peter asked holding the pan up. We all burst into laughter and I took the pan from Peter and dumped some of the egg onto the tin plate in front of me then passed it to Gabriel.

"How could we be so playful in a time like this." I kinda asked myself this. I've always asked myself that. I never understood why we were like this.

"Who knows, I guess we know that deep down we all could die the next day and we are living life to the fullest, enjoying it before we do die." Peter said taking the last of the eggs and stuffing it in his face.

I sighed. "well that's one good way of putting it."

"Well, as much as I love to sit and chat I must be getting to my letter. So, good day," Gabriel said and stood. I gazed up at him. He wrote everyday to his family. I don't know what it was about it but Gabriel loved writing letters to his family. He had talked about them all the time. By now me and Peter knew about his father, everything about his every brother and sister, about his home, and his servants. He loved his family so much and I admired him for it. I was also jealous. I didn't have family like that. I could never write to my family for they would immediately know where I was. To my parents I was dead. Which was good cause I didn't want my cover blown.

"What about you Noah?" Peter said looking at me. I jerked my head up at him and gazed at him thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked stupidly. I knew what he was asking about.

"How come you never write to your family." He asked. I looked at my hands.

"Its just uh, both my parents they were glad to get rid of me. They hated me so I never bothered writing to them" I mumbled. Which was partially the truth. After Samuel broke the marriage off. my parents were so angry with me they ignored me.

"oh, I'm uh, sorry to hear that. But what about your siblings?" He said putting his pan in his knapsack. I shrugged. "Don't got any." I lied. I had one older brother. His name was James and last I heard from him he and his wife were having a second son. Jacob was their first one. I never got to find out what the second ones name was.

"Oh, you must have been very lonely." Peter said. I nodded. "Yeah" I whispered.

"well, I'm off to bed. Another day of marching tomorrow I bet." I said standing up. Peter nodded.

"Alright, night." I went off to my tent and as I marched off Peter muttered, "I hate marching."

I laughed and shouted. "As do I Peter! But that's the army for you!" He just laughed and went to his tent.

* * *

-1 year later-

We had just got back from a long battle, it was summer my most least favorite season. You marched, you fought, you sweat, and when your swat you started smelling and for a women you smelled horrible! So, as soon as we got in the camp I grabbed a clean uniform, or at least I thought was clean, and disappeared in the woods and found a creek that wasn't to far or to near the camp.

I checked the area then striped down to my undergarments and waded out into the clean, cool, refreshing water. I splashed the cool water over my arms, then my chest, then my back.

I just got done with washing my hair and I had stepped out of the creek and was standing on the bank when I heard a twig snap.

I had been so shocked I spun around and didn't think straight at who could it be. Hopefully some unknown private, unfortunately it would be my commanding officer. But it turned out to be neither.

As I stood there completely naked, Peter stood there gapping at me. I gave a little scream and covered my chest and lover area with my skinny arms which wasn't helping me much.

Peter blushed and turned away respectfully.

"Noah! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I was just uh checking to see where you went, I'm really sorry, it wont happen again," He stuttered.

I finally had pulled on my uniform except the over coat and turned to Peter who kept mumbling.

"Peter," I whispered in my normal woman voice. I mean what good did it do me now? My cover was blown and well yea it would sound silly if I tried sounding like a man.

Peter turned to me his face red as his hair. I blushed too and gazed guiltily up at him.

"That was so…" I whispered. He cut me off, "embarrassing?" I nodded.

"Yea I guess it was. But Noah….." I cut him off.

"Rowan." I whispered. He gazed at me. I looked down at my feet. "Rowan." He said slowly.

"But Rowan, you're a, a, a….." He trailed off. I blushed even more. "A woman." I finished. He gulped and plopped down onto a log burying his face in his hands.

"Oh god! What in the world is going on! This is just so, so, wrong!" I looked down disappointed.

I was on the verge of tears. This was it, the end of the road for me. Peter was going to tell the commanding officer and I would be the laughing gossip in town and I could never show my face in public ever again.

I looked at Peter and bent down on my knees, placed my finger under his chin and lifted his head up so I was making eye contact with him.

"Please Peter, you can't tell anyone about this. I beg you! Don't tell anyone, I've come to far now to be turned in. I don't want to go back!" I felt the tears threaten to fall. He looked at with a hurt expression. It was like he was going to cry as well.

"Alright," He whispered hoarsely. I smiled, sighed and fell back onto the ground in relief.

"But on one condition." Peter said. I stood back up and gazed at him. "What is it?"

"Tell me everything about you, the truth too." He said with one of the most mature faces I have ever seen. I nodded and sat cross legged in front of him. "Ok Peter, what do you want to know about me?"

"Your full name"

"Rowan Elizabeth Blackwell"

"Age?"

"21, I had just turned 20 when I joined."

"Parents"

"Mary Blackwell, and Thomas Richard Blackwell"

"Wow, you have some rich parents."

"I know"

"ok last question" "ok"

"Why did you join?"

I took a deep breathe. Oh boy!

"oh god where do I begin. Ok, first off to get way. I was married before to a man named Samuel Ripach. He was the wealthy son who had just inherited his fathers plantation. My mom and dad set up a marriage and he agreed and we married. We were married for about a year but then the summer I was 19 Sam caught me in my brothers clothes riding a horse not sidesaddle. He was so 'dishonored' and got furious and well broke the marriage away. My parents got mad and ignored me for the rest of the time I was at home. I hated it and ran away and joined. And now here we are."

I finished and took a deep breathe. That pretty much summed it up. My life . Well the bad part of it.

"wow" Peter was speechless. I lowered my head. "yea pretty bad huh?"

"well, I promise to never tell anyone your secret." Peter said. I smiled and tears of joy fell down my face as I jumped and hugged Peter. Peter laughed and pulled away.

"Ok, as much as I would like to have a woman hug me we really need to back. Were starting our march to Elizabethtown." He said. I nodded and wiped my tears away. "ok, lets go."

I gathered my things and started following Peter back to camp.

"You know Gabriel will find out sooner or later." Peter said.

"I know but better later then sooner." Peter nodded.

"Yea, but I was wondering." He stopped and looked at me. I froze and stared at him. "Yea?"

"After all this time, how did you manage not to break down after seeing all this blood shed and death?" he asked looking serious again. I shrugged.

"You know, I have never been able to answer that myself."

Peter nodded in satisfaction and began marching back to camp where we were greeted by Gabriel, the one person I was dreading to see right at that moment. I hope he doesn't suspect something.

I also hoped that Peter would be the last person to 'discover' me. But I doubt he would be.

* * *

Ok im done. Its 3 in the morning and im tired, my head hurts, and im hot as hell! Damn heat wave…….ANYWAY! I hope u enjoyed this. If u did, or u didn't I really don't care! As long as you read it and reviewed then im fine with it! Flame me, review wutever u like just leave something. TOOTLES!

CUtS-aNdKiSseS


	2. ElizabethTown

Disclaimer: own nothing but Rowan the entire Blackwell family, and anything else u wont recognize……wutever those things might be…… 

Chapter2

>Rowans thoughts>

Thank god no one else discovered me. It would have been a major disaster if someone did. Things now were different between me and Peter now. He sees me now as a woman and flirts with me everyday. I mean I don't mind cause I flirt right back but I don't want to get a husband. Besides it would be very weird if I married my best friend.

Peter made sure to not flirt with me around Gabriel or the others cause they would kinda get the wrong idea, that Peter was gay and he wasn't. It was so much difficult now. I don't how much more I can take..

* * *

-Elizabethtown- 

"Peter! Get you fat ass up with Gabriel and Noah!" Captain Greg Davies jerked the reins of his horse back as he shouted. He was our commanding officer. The red headed Peter came bursting through the crowd and took his position in between me and Gabriel. I shot a grin in his direction. He glared back and I jerked foreword cocking the hammer of my musket back.

"He sounds really mad." Gabriel said doing the same thing. Peter rolled his eyes and followed suit.

"Yea, I accidentally left one of the fires burning and it caught his tent a flame." Peter said like it was no big deal. I chuckled under my breathe.

"The captains holding a grudge, and he told me he has never hold a grudge in his whole entire life. What a liar." I said shaking my head as we aimed our guns at the advancing red coats. I smirked. You would think that the men in the very front row would be nervous marching into battle. Guess again! Not me Peter, nor Gabriel. I had nothing to lose, Peter I don't know about him, but I knew that Gabriel had a lot of loving brothers and sisters at home. What could make him so fearless? I would never know.

"You guys ready?" Gabriel asked taking aim. I nodded and pulled my coat collar higher up my neck.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I said. Peter nodded. "ok then, lets get this started."

Gabriel took the first shot as the captain yelled fire. I followed suit as did Peter.

* * *

-Hour later- 

This was bad! The men were cold, hungry, and tired. The British was gaining the field and we were losing men fast. Either we would get creamed here or retreat. I was standing there not shifting at all shooting every red coat I saw in my line of fire. Loading, firing, reloading. It was just a never ending cycle.

"This isn't looking to good!" I shouted at Gabriel over the gun fire, the fog of my breathe blocking my sight o him for a split second.

"I know! We need to do something other then sit here like fish in a barrel!" He shouted back. I had to agree with him. This battle was going nowhere for us. I shot down another red coat as did Gabriel and we began reloading. Peter was just taking aim and I was looking at him as I ripped my gunpowder packet open when everything that happened went in slow motion.

I don't know what it was, instinct? But I looked over to the enemy line and saw it. The red coat taking aim at Peter. In horror I dropped my weapon and jerked to Peter.

"PETER! GET DOWN!" I dove for him, my arms going around his waist knocking him to the ground at Gabriel's feet which startled him, and he backed up into the man beside him shattering the front line.

The bullet whizzed over us, past Gabriel and hit the man that was standing behind Peter in the chest. I gulped and picked myself up from Peter and looked around. Gabriel was looking down at me and I was looking up. Peter was laying shocked on the ground. I had saved his life.

"Come on!" I heard Gabriel shout and felt him grab both me and Peter. "Fall back! There's nothing else we can do here!"

I leapt off the ground grabbing my musket and Peters arm. We fell in line behind Gabriel as all the American troops retreated.

We all ran for our lives until we reached a save spot. All that had survived pitched tents up and built fires to keep out the cold.

I had gotten my extra think wool coat and was huddled on a tree stump in front of a fire trying very hard to get warm. But it wasn't working to well. I was just so darn cold and it all ready started snowing.

Peter sat beside me and looked down at the ground. I just sat there trying to defrost the cup of water I had. I wanted some coffee or something strong and hot.

"I uh, should be thanking you for about earlier." He whispered. I smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"The least I could do for a friend" I said. He smiled at me and adjusted himself on the stump.

"well I guess we are here in the damn winter, being pathetic losers we are" He said throwing a stick in the fire making it stronger. I shrugged.

"Aren't we always the losers?" I said with a laugh. Peter laughed. "Yea I guess so."

"I could use some hot tea or coffee." I whispered.

"Yea, me too. Could be very useful right now."

"Yea."

I yawned. "I'm going to bed. Good night Peter."

"Good night Rowan."

I blinked and looked at him. He had his eyes closed then they jolted open.

"Oh sorry I mean Noah."

I groaned. "Peter! You cant do that all the time! I could get caught….."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry! It wont happen again."

I nodded. "Good, alright night then" I went off to my tent and climbed in.

Then my mind drifted to Gabriel. Where was he? He wasn't with us when we sat there. I was worried about him sometimes. You never knew where he might be listening to mine and Peters conversations. Deep down inside I didn't want him to know I was a woman. But another half of me did want him to know. I don't know why but I did. It was so weird this feeling. I didn't understand it at all.

* * *

-yawn- I'm off to bed! Ok review flame I don't care! 

CuTs-AnD-kIsSeS


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